Posted by
PDX Dave on Sunday, March 23, 2008 6:39:10 PM
CNN will be re-airing a
Special Investigations Unit: The Mystery of Jesus special tonight, Easter Sunday.
Far left spokeshole and anti-Christian crusader Sigourney Weaver narrates this investigation of the "evidence" of Jesus' early life and sexual relationships with women and small animals. I missed it's premier, but I will miss it's repeat as well, so... oh well....
Karnak predicts the "evidence" provided will be:
- The base premise will be that he was, of course, just an ordinary man. This is chiseled-in-stone "scientific fact" and only drooling superstitious morons from the Ozarks believe he was the Son of God.
- He was gay, or if not,
- He was nailing Mary Magdalene and every other available female, including probably his mother.
- His mother.... virgin birth.. angel.... Haaahahahahahahaaaaaa.....HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! Christians are idiots.
- Jesus would have been perplexed by a religion being created by idiots about his life. He was just a regular homosexual liberal Democrat looking for a falafel stand and supporting the Palestinian right of return.
- Did I mention Jesus was gay? Oh, and his father was probably a child molester, who may have fornicated the donkey Mary rode to Bethlehem, and likely raped the Little Drummer Boy as Mary gave birth.
- CNN will follow up the broadcast with a weeping, hand-wringing report on the brutish Danish Islamophobes who disrespect the Prophet by daring to question the authenticity of every jot and tittle of the Koran, and thus deserve to be beheaded by the poor, poor maligned and mistreated Muslims.
PDX Dave
Behind Enemy Lines in Portland, Oregon